Comfortably Numb
by Cadalinda
Summary: Rachel had the life she wanted. She had the friends, the boyfriend and the future. In the blink of an eye everything she every knew changed and now shes broken.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel tore out of the parking lot tears running down her face and shaking. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. The man she loved with all her heart had another women's legs wrapped around his hips. Rachel had decided to surprise her boyfriend at work with a hot lunch and cookies she'd made. That soon proved to be the worst decision she had ever made in her life. Well second if you now count the tattoo that she now sported on her ring finger of the man's initials. Rachel took a shaking hand off the wheel and swiped at her cheeks trying to bat away the rapidly falling tears. She didn't know when it started but it was now pouring rain and the streets were soaked. She felt around the passenger seat trying to find the phone without taking her eyes off the road. Once it was located she hit the side button for voice command.

"Call Satan." Rachel spoke out loud. She had hated that name but that was what Santana changed it to.

"Sup Jew Jew B," Santana snickered at her own cleverness.

"San." Rachel chocked out.

"Hey, what's the matter B?" Santana's tone quickly changed.

"He, he, oh god, San." Rachel started to sob again unable to speak. She had been so consumed by the pain in her chest she didn't see it until it was too late. She was already halfway in the intersection when the headlights of the truck shone through her window. The truck was trying to break but just kept skidding because of the wet roads. The impact threw the car into a tailspin only coming to a stop when it hit a pole. Santana heard the crash and glass shuddering.

"Rachel!" Santana yelled into the phone hoping for an answer. "Come on babe talk to me." The phone went dead and Santana's heart sank. Rachel was soon over come with blackness that was sucking her deeper in. Rachel could feel her body slowly shutting down and the ache in her chest started to fade. Everything and everyone she loved started to flash before her eyes in a slideshow of this is your life. Every moment that had ever been important to her was playing in her head. From her first solo to her first kiss and her first time. The last image was the one she had just ran form. Rachel couldn't help but think that she couldn't die there was still so much left for her to do, so much left to say. But soon the blackness had fully taken over her tiny body causing her to feel a sense of peace. The very last thought on her mind was of the man she loved. It was of Noah.

A/N: Hey everyone! So here is a new glee story. The story will use some events from season 3 but not many. This chapter is short because I am writing it like a few of my other ones. The others will be longer. This is the first story I have written in a while. Right now I don't have a computer so I'm writing the story out by hand and typing them when I get a chance. So I don't know how often I will be able to update. Hope you guys enjoy


	2. Chapter 2

Six Months Before

Rachel Berry's living room was buzzing with activity. The small group of friends sat around waiting for Rachel to announce her movie pick. Since the group had started hanging out they would have movie nights once a week. Rachel finally appeared from the upper floor, movie in hand, she stood in front of the TV waiting for everyone's attention.

"So what's the movie Berry?" Santana asked her best friend from her spot next to Brittany. Rachel had been there for Santana after Finn forced her out of the closet. Rachel had been so mad when she found out what Finn had done.

_Rachel left the auditorium in search of Santana. She found her sitting in the girls locker room crying._

"_Santana?" Rachel called out softly trying not to startle the Latina sitting in front of her._

"_What do you want man hands?" Santana just stared at the floor refusing to meet the smaller girls eyes. There was no way Santana would let Rachel see the tears running down her face._

"_I'm sorry Finn did that to you," Rachel took a seat next to her. "You should have been able to do it when you were ready."_

"_My parents are going to kick me out." Rachel put a hand on Santana's shaking shoulder._

"_Then you can stay at my house," Rachel told her as if it was the most obvious plan in the world._

"_How about no. We aren't even friends why would I want to live with you?" Santana looked at her in disbelief._

"_We don't need to be friends for me to help you." Rachel stood up to leave. "The offer stands my house is always open." Rachel wrote down her address and left the paper beside Santana. Santana stayed sitting in shock by Rachael kindness. She had been nothing but mean to Rachel but yet the tiny girl had offered her a place to go. Later that night Rachel had been doing get homework when there was a knock on the door. Rachel yelled to her fathers that she would get it and ran down the stairs. When she opened the door she found Santana on the other side bags in hand and tears running down her tanned cheeks._

"_So does the offer still stand?" Santana once again stayed looking at the ground in front of her. Rachel just smiled and moved aside so the other girl could pass. Once the door was closed Santana dropped her bags as her body was wracked with sobs. Rachel pulled the taller girl to her chest and held her tight while she cried._

Rachel smiled brightly and held the movie case in front of her chest.

"_The Way We Were_." Rachel couldn't contain the excitement she felt over her choice.

"Really babe?" Noah asked from his spot on the couch where he was waiting for her to join him. The pair had been together for months. Once Santana had moved in Finn had started little fights over everything. Rachel had reached her breaking point when he accused her of cheating on him with Santana. Noah waited a week before he made his move.

_Rachel was sitting in the choir room waiting for glee to start when Noah walked in._

"_Sup Berry?" Noah asked taking the seat next to her._

"_Hello Noah what are you doing here so early?" there was still 5 minutes left and she was the only one in the room._

"_I wanted to talk to you." Noah put his arm around the back of her chair and turned so he was facing her. Rachel sat waiting to hear what he had to say. "So you and big foot have been broken up for a week now and I think its time to move on." Rachel just looked at him._

"_Oh really? You think a week is an appropriate amount of time to pass?" Rachel was now looking at him amused._

"_Yup so it's time to move on and I know the perfect guy."_

"_Really who?" Rachel was now smiling at him._

"_Me." Before Rachel could respond he closed the gap between them and sealed his lips over her. When the two broke apart they just sat there smiling at each other._

"Really Berry, do we have to watch a Barbra Streisand movie? Not all of us share the love for her that you and Kurt have." Santana pointed to the boy to her right. Rachel put her hands on her hips and stomped her foot.

"Every week I watch what ever you guys pick. I do not complain I just watch. I did not pick a musical this time. I just do not understand why we can not watch the movie I pick?" Rachel finished her rant with her hands still on her hips.

"You do realize that you said I six times right." Santana pointed out and everyone started laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

5 Months Before

Rachel drove to Noah's house her stomach in knots. She couldn't believe what she just saw, she refused to cry, there was no way she was going to let the tears burning her eyes fall. Parking her car in the Puckerman driveway she got out of the car locking it behind her. Looking on her key ring Rachel found the key Noah had given her and let herself in the house. Rachel and Noah had pretty much the same home life. Their families were almost never home leaving them alone. Locking the door behind her again the tiny brunette made her way up the stairs to a room she has been to many times before. Opening the door Rachel found Noah on his bed under the covers.

"Hey babe what are you doing here?" Noah asked putting down his Xbox controller. Rachel didn't say any thing. She just kicked her heels off and crawled into his bed. She stayed on her side waiting for Noah to wrap his large arms around her tiny body as he always does.

"Babe everything OK?" Noah asked as he pulled her to his chest. She never stays silent for long periods of time without something being wrong. Rachel just remained as she was willing the tears to stop burning her eyes.

"Baby?" Noah asked again trying to get a response. Rachel just raised her hand pressing it to her forehead. The tears were starting to fall and she was trying with all her might to make them stop. Before she could get the tears under control sobs over took her tiny body. Noah pulled her even tighter to his chest holding her still. "Please doll face I need you to tell me what's wrong so I can start kicking ass."

"Why wasn't I good enough?" Noah was confused beyond belief. "Why couldn't she love me?" Everything started to make scene.

"Where is this coming from babe? We haven't seen or heard from her in almost 2 years," it was left unsaid that the last time she was around was when she took Beth. Rachel and Noah never talked about it because it hurt them both way too much.

"I saw her today." Rachel could feel Noah stiffen behind her. She didn't really want to tell him about it but she doesn't want to have secrets from him either. She started telling him where she saw her.

Rachel had decided to go grocery shopping. Her dads were gone again and Santana didn't shop. Every time Rachel asked her if she wanted to go or if she could do it Rachel was always met with "Bitch I ain't you wife." and then laughter. Rachel was walking down the produce isle when something stopped her dead in her tracks. Ahead of her was her mother smiling down at a blond little girl sitting in the front of her cart. None has seen either of them since Beth was born. Something Rachel always wondered who the little girl looked like, seeing the blonde hair she couldn't help but wonder if she had Noah's breath taking eyes. Rachel had just turned around when she heard the voice that has haunted her for the past two years.

"Rachel?" Hearing her name stopped her dead in her tracks and caused Rachel to turn. By the time she was facing the other way Shelby was right in front of her.

"Shelby." Rachel replied keeping her tone neutral.

"How are you?" Shelby asked as she handed Beth a cookie.

"I'm fine. What are you doing here?" it was killing Rachel to stand there watching the person who should have loved her giving that love to someone else.

"I moved back and I'm actually going to be a teacher at your school." Rachel stood there frozen in shock. Not knowing what to say or do Rachel left her cart behind and all but ran from the store.

The whole time Rachel was telling what happened she could feel the tension growing in Noah body.

"So she's back?" Noah asked almost in the same shock that Rachel had been in.

"Yes Noah she's back. And before you ask she has your eyes," Rachel was about to get out of the bed and leave when Noah pulled her back down.

"Hey where are you going?" Noah asked as he held her arm.

"I'm going home Noah. We both obviously have things to deal with right now," Rachel tried to get up again but Noah refused to let go.

"Stay, I have nothing more important than you that I have to deal with," Noah pulled her to his chest again and gave her a passionate kiss. He pulled her down so she was lying flat on her back and he was hovering over her. When the need for air became increasingly more important the two broke apart.

"You are more than good enough Rachel. Shelby is the fucked up one," The tears that had stopped their journey down her face started up again. Pulling her face close to his he kissed away every tear that fell. Rachel feeling overcome with the emotions of the day pulled Noah in for a mind numbing lip-bruising kiss. She starting running her hands up Noah's bare chest and raking her nails down over it.

"God babe you are driving me crazy." Noah started kissing down her neck to the top of her shirt. Rachel's tiny hands quickly started to undo the buttons reviling her plain white bra to him. Noah lifted himself off her to get a good look at the beautiful girl under him. He's felt her chest but never saw them. Puck knows that Finn tried to get in her pants but Rachel was having none of that. Quickly Noah started kissing the newly exposed skin and loving the sounds that were coming out of the girl he loves.

"You don't know how beautiful you are baby," Rachel just blushed causing her face and chest to flare red. She pulled him up to kiss him deeply. "Rachel we need to stop." Noah told her and started to pull away. Once he was back Rachel sat up and looked at him in shock.

"What, why, did I do something wrong?" Rachel was starting to become very self conscious and grabbed for her shirt. Noah quickly grabbed her hands and kissed her palms. After planting a kiss on each one he rested her tiny hand on his very hard penis.

"You are doing nothing wrong doll. You are doing everything right but if we keep going I won't be able to stop myself." Noah saw Rachel's eyes get wide and quickly become hooded with lust.

"What if I don't want you to stop?" She asked trying to act innocent. Noah let out a hard growl from deep in his chest.

"Don't be saying things like that to me be baby. It can be dangerous." Rachel got off the bed and dropped her skirt to the floor. Noah just stared at her mouth and eyes opened wide. Sitting back beside him she took one of his large calloused hands in her steady small one and rested it on her chest.

"You sure baby?" Noah asked praying that her answer would be yes.

"Yes Noah I'm sure." Rachel pulled him in for a kiss as if that sealed the deal.

"I love you Rachel." Noah told her as he brushed her bangs off her face.

"I love you too, Noah." Rachel smiled at him all of his worries leaving his mind. Once he was 100% sure it was OK Noah started his assault on her chest and lips again. Every kiss caused her to moan louder. The hand that was placed on the tanned legs he loved so much started to slowly rise to the place he had spent many nights dreaming of touching. The closer he got to her center the more he could feel heat radiating off her body. Rachel lifted herself off the bed taking off her bra fully exposing her chest to him. Noah couldn't help the rush of blood that went south. Dipping his head he took her newly exposed nipple into his mouth causing Rachel to gasp then moan.

"God Noah that feels so good," she told him as she ran her hands through his Mohawk. "Please Noah, touch me," the moment the words left her mouth Rachel started to blush all over again he couldn't help but smirk at her begging. Only his girl would be shy with her nipple in his mouth. Noah quickly obeyed her wishes and slipped a finger inside her panties. He could feel his chest swell with pride, his girl was soaking wet and it was all his doing. Slowly he slipped a finger inside of her taking his time. It was her first time and he didn't want to hurt her. The moan she let out told him he was anything but hurting her. Noah had been gently playing with her when she started to beg again.

"Please Noah, I need more," following her orders he pulled her panties off and replaced his fingers with his tongue.

"God Noah don't stop!" Rachel yelled as his tongue flicked her clit. As he pulled the tiny bundle of nerves in between his lips Noah slipped two fingers inside her dripping opening. "Please Noah I need you in me," the amount of begging was shocking.

"Last chance to back out. Are you sure doll face?" Noah asked fully prepared to stop if she told him too.

"More than sure," that was all Noah needed to hear before he pulled himself level with her.

"This is going to hurt at first but it will get better I promise." Rachel nodded her head fully prepared for the pain that was sure to come. Noah pulled her into a mind numbing kiss while he pushed himself deep inside of her. She let out a strangled cry and a tear started to roll down her cheek. Noah quickly kissed it away and waited for her to adjust. Once she nodded he started to move slowly then picked up speed. Ten minutes later Rachel had the most wonderful feeling experiencing her first orgasm with Noah's name falling off her lips. Not long after Noah quickly emptied himself inside of her. Satisfied he laid back down and pulled Rachel to his chest again. The room was silent until he spoke.

"Never doubt that you are good enough."

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed ,put the story on fav and alert it means the world to me


	4. Chapter 4

Two Months Before

Rachel was having a horrible day. Her alarm didn't go off so she slept in. Once she pulled herself out of bed and fought off the sick feeling in her body she quickly rushed to get ready. Once she was ready Rachel found that Santana had also slept in and was rushing around the house.

"Why the hell didn't you wake me?" Santana yelled as she was pulling her brush through her long black hair.

"I slept in too Satan. My freaking alarm didn't go off." Rachel yelled and rolled her eyes at the girl standing in front of her. Leaving Santana to fight with the mess her hair had become overnight Rachel went to the kitchen to make herself a protein shake.

"Don't you have an internal clock that says hey crazy get your ass up and work out?" Santana couldn't help but make a joke at Rachel's expense.

"I'm tired ok?" It came out more as a question than a statement. Rachel gulped down her shake and then packed her bag jamming in things that wouldn't fit. Rachel grabbed her bags off the counter and went to the front door. Santana flew back down the stairs meeting Rachel before she could make it to the door. The two girls rushed to Rachel's car trying their best not to be late.

"Damn it Satan." Rachel yelled at Santana as she tried to unlock her car doors. "You left the lights on again didn't you?" Santana had a horrible habit of driving Rachel's car leaving the lights or radio thus killing the battery.

"Shit B I'm so sorry." the smaller girl just ignored her as she dialled her cellphone.

"Noah can you come get us?' Santana stood waiting only listening to one side of the conversation.

"He's on his way." Rachel snapped at Santana as she stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Are you ok Rachel? You seem more pissed than usual." Santana was leaning against Rachel's car watching the other girl closely.

"Yes I am fine. I am just not feeling well and I don't like being late." Santana didn't have a chance to push it any further because Noah showed up to get the girls. The ride to school was quite, something that never happens when the three of them are together. Once they arrived at WNGS Rachel quickly left the truck leaving the two remaining people watching her retreating form.

"What wrong with my girl?" Noah asked Santana hoping she could shed some light on his girlfriend's behaviour.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Santana clapped Noah on the shoulder and went of her own way. The rest of her day had gone by in a blur and Rachel was thankful for glee. Dropping the last of her books off at her locker Rachel took a deep calming breath grateful for her safe haven. The peace Rachel usually felt when she walked through the door was shredded when she saw her mother sitting at the piano. Rachel looked around the room and found it was only the two of them there.

"Just my luck." Rachel looked up at the sky and cursed the heavens.

"Hello Rachel." Shelby's voice broke through Rachel's thoughts.

"Hello Shelby." Rachel took her usual seat putting in her ear buds waiting for the rest of the club and blocking out anything Shelby would want to say to her. Rachel had only listened to one song when everyone else started to file into the room. Noah took his seat besides her giving her a kiss on the cheek before looking at the front of the room. He looked at Shelby with wonder then back at Rachel trying to gauge her mood. Rachel could feel his gaze burning the side of her face so she turned to look at him.

"You ok doll?" Noah asked as he wrapped his arm around her and started playing with the ends of her hair. Feeling Noah's touch and his terms of endearment always brought a sense of calming to Rachel.

"I'm fine." Rachel gave him a small unconvincing smile but he also knew to leave it alone. Noah continued playing with her hair as they waited for Schue to show up. It didn't take long before he entered the room clapping his hands trying gaining the rooms attention.

"Alright guys I have an announcement." Mr. Schue paused waiting for everyone to stop talking. "Alright so Ms. Corhan will now be co-director with me." Rachel's eyes grew wide as her heart started pounding against her tiny rib cage.

"What why?" The little brunette yelled out trying to keep her voice strong and tears at bay.

"Because we want to win and she has couched a winning team before." Mr. Schue had a feeling Rachel would have a strong reaction to the news.

"We don't need her. We can win without her." Rachel spat out the word her like it was filled with venom.

"We need her Rachel don't ruin this for us because y our have mommy issues." Quinn spoke out from the back of the room.

"Shut it Juno." Santana yelled back a fight about to break out. Shelby spoke up for the first time.

"If it is going to be a problem I don't have to help." She turned her upset gaze to Rachel. "I don't want to hurt you anymore." Rachel just rolled her eyes and muttered it was fine before crossing her arms over her chest. The rest of glee went by with no further interruptions. Once it was over Rachel was getting ready to leave when Noah stopped her.

"Chang is going to give you guys a ride home tonight k babe?" Noah just kept watching Rachel's face. First she just looked at him and sighed.

"Ok Noah its fine." Rachel didn't need to ask where he was going she knew. Since Shelby came back she had agreed to let Quinn and Noah have visitation with Beth. Shelby and Noah both invited Rachel to go but she just couldn't do it. There was no way Rachel could watch her mother being motherly to another child and she couldn't stand the thought of Noah and Quinn bonding over their little girl. So instead of ruining the time Noah had with his daughter Rachel would have a date with Santana. At first it was only once in a while but it soon was becoming 3 times a week. Rachel went to get her stuff out of her locker and meet Santana. Once her stuff was gathered she quickly found her best friend.

"Hey little one where's Puck?" Santana asked closing her locker. Rachel didn't have to say anything the look on her face said it all. Santana just wrapped her long arms around the tiny girl and held her close "So funny girl tonight?" Rachel couldn't help but laugh.

"Funny girl tonight.'

A/N: I'M BACK! After months of no laptop and no internet I finally have both things back (happy dance.) I am so excited to start writing again and getting back into the swing of things. Thank you to everyone who review and put me on alert in my absence. I'm going to try to update once a week but that might be a little hard because…. I'M GETTING MARRIED(another happy dance.) After 7 years my wonderful boyfriend proposed and we are getting married November 3 this year. Yeah that's right I'm planning a crazy Portuguese wedding in 7 months. So I'm going to try my best to keep updating in between the crazy. Thanks to my beta Ctruck.


	5. Chapter 5

Two Weeks Before

Rachel was standing in her closest looking around pissed.

"Santana did you shrink my clothes again?" Rachel was in just her bra and underwear trying to find something to wear. Santana came into the room looking at the mess Rachel had made.

"No I haven't touched the laundry since I ruined your favourite sweater." Both girls started to laugh at the memory.

_Santana had been sitting on Rachel's bed folding the baskets of laundry she had just washed. Santana wanted to help out around the house. It was her way of saying thank you to the Berry's._

"_Santana have you seen my grey sweater with the beads around the neck?" Rachel walked into her room shocked at the sight before her. "What are you doing?" Santana looked through the pile to find the sweater Rachel was asking for._

"_I want to help put around the house. It's the least I can do." Santana handed her the sweater with a smile on her face. Rachel took it from her returning the smile. Just as Rachel unfolded it she smiled faded._

"_You shrunk my sweater." Rachel yelled holding it up for Santana to see. Santana stared wide eyed at the garment that was now half its original size. Before she could stopped herself Santana broke out into a fit of hysterical laughter. Rachel just stood there giving her the evil eye._

"_Never touch the laundry again." Rachel yelled as she turned to leave the room. "Oh and you sound like a freaking hyena." Rachel left the room now laughing at Santana's sudden silence._

Santana stared at Rachel looking her over from head to toe.

"Not one thing fits I don't know what the hell is wrong with me." Rachel was starting to get worked up and emotional.

"Have you gained weight?" Santana asked as she kept looking Rachel over. She could see that the smaller girl had in fact put on a few pounds but didn't want to point that out to her friend.

"No I haven't." Rachel stood with her hands on her hips as if daring Santana to say any more. Which of course the Latina did.

"Are you sure because the fun bags are defiantly looking bigger." Santana started laughing at the look on Rachel's face.

"My breasts have not gotten bigger." Rachel wrapped her arms over her chest covering herself from Santana view. "My bra still fits."

"That's because it's my bra Rachel. The fun bags are most diffidently bigger." Rachel moved her arms looking down at her chest. It was in fact Santana's bra. Her dads must have mixed it up when he did the laundry.

"Can you please stop referring to my breast as fun bags? What am I going to do I have no clothes Santana?" Rachel started to get worked up and teary eyed. Santana left the room to go to her own and find something for the other girl to wear.

"Here wear these for now and we'll go to the mall." Rachel started to get dressed while Santana took a seat on her bed and waited. "So what's up with the weight gain? I hear you every morning on your stupid elliptical like a freaking hamster on its wheel." Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I don't know Santana I haven't even noticed it." Rachel was finished getting dressed and now doing her hair. Santana just watched and started thinking.

"Rachel when was the last time you got your period?"

"A few months ago but that's normal for me. I have never had a regular period. I even tried birth control for a while but nothing worked." Rachel just kept going her hair thinking nothing of Santana's line of questioning.

"When you and Puck have sex are you safe?" Santana felt like a mother trying to have the talk with her daughter.

"Yes Santana we are always safe." Rachel was starting to get annoyed with her friend.

"Every time"

"There was only one time we were not and that was our first time." Rachel was now facing Santana.

"When was that?" Santana was trying to work out everything in her head.

"A few months ago." Santana just nodded still thinking. Deciding to change the topic Santana started to speak again.

"So you ready to get inked?" Rachel just gave Santana a look causing both girls to laugh.

"Yeah I am you?" the two had planned on getting their first tattoos together. Rachel was getting ready to go when she started having her clothes melt down.

"Ok I'm ready let's go." Rachel pulled Santana up off the bed and out the door.

Rachel had parked her car directly in front of the tattoo shop.

"You sure about this Berry?" Santana asked one last time.

"Are you?" Both girls nodded and got out of the car before either could change their mind.

45 minutes later both girl had their first tattoos. Rachel had NP tattooed on her ring finger and Santana had BP on her.

"Alight now let's go and get you some clothes tubers." Rachel gave Santana a dirty look. "Oh come on I was just joking." Rachel stayed silent on the drive to the mall. Once they were parked outside Santana broke the silence. "Rachel is there a chance that you are pregnant?" Rachel started at her wide eyed not knowing what to say. There wasn't a chance right? Rachel kept thinking trying to put dates together and work out stuff in her head. Finally she gave her answer.

"I don't know." Rachel admitted with tears in her eyes. Santana pulled her into a tight hug.

"Ok first let's get you some clothes. You can't run around naked no matter how much Puck and I would love that." Santana gave her a little smirk. "Then we'll buy a test and figure this out." Rachel nodded her head wiping away the tears that had just started to fall. As they were walking through the mall Rachel kept thinking. All the signs were there but she just ignored them. Santana dragged her in and out of two stores getting just enough clothes to do her a little whole. Santana made sure she picked out track pants (something Rachel would never buy) and skirts with elastic waist just in case. Once they were done the two drove to the closet drug store to but the test. Rachel waited in the car to embarrass by the whole thing. Santana came back with no shame test in hand. Santana drove back to the house because Rachel couldn't stop shaking. Sitting on the edge of the tub the tiny brunette read over the instructions while Santana started putting her clothes away.

"So I just pee on it." Rachel asked not hiding the disgust in her voice. Santana just shook her head and laughed. Rachel had stayed in the bathroom staring at the test while she waited. It was like she was trying to tell the test what to be. 3 minutes later Rachel came out stick in hand.

"So." Santana was dying to know the results.

"I'm pregnant." Rachel dropped the stick to the ground and broke down.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. For some reason i could not reply to them. Also thank you for the congratulations.


	6. Chapter 6

Two hours before

Santana sat in the kitchen of her house for the past 8 months watching Rachel bake sugar cookies for Noah.

"You sure you don't want me to come?" Santana asked while breaking a freshly baked cookie in half.

"Yes I'm sure Santana. After the doctors I am going to go to Sheets N' Things to bring Noah his lunch and cookies. Today is a rough day for him." Rachel smiled at Santana as she pulled another tray of cookies out of her oven.

"Why didn't you ask him to go with you?" Santana was just full of questions.

"He has to work today and today is Beth's birthday. I don't want him to come just in case it was a false positive. He doesn't need any more hurt today." Rachel's voice had gotten softer thinking about how upset Noah must be right now. She didn't want to tell him he might be a dad again if there was a chance it wasn't.

"So Shelby didn't change her mind about Puck seeing her today?" Rachel shook her head no and kept working. Once all the cookies were done it was time for Rachel to leave.

"Last chance, are you sure?" Santana was hoping that Rachel would change her mind and let her go to the doctors with her.

"Yes I am sure. I will call you when I am done." Rachel gave Santana a big hug. "Thank you for everything." Rachel told her with tears in her eyes.

"Don't start with that crap Berry get out of here." Santana gave her a smile and pushed her towards the door. Ten minutes later Rachel was sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called. Once she heard her name being calling from the front of the room Rachel slowly made her way to the waiting nurse. The older woman gave Rachel a warm smile as she led her back to the exam room.

"Hello Miss Berry. " Dr. Wu greeted Rachel as he walked into the room. "How are you?" All of a sudden Rachel was feeling very nervous.

"I am ok." Rachel answered her voice shaking a little. Dr. Wu sat down in front of Rachel her chart in his hand.

"So I see here you might be pregnant?" Dr. Wu asks making notes in her chart.

"Yes I took a test and it was positive." Rachel started spinning the ring on her finger.

"Ok well let's start with a test of our own." Dr. Wu handed Rachel a cup and pointed to the bathroom. "Congratulations you are indeed pregnant." Rachel couldn't help but smile. "Since you are not 100% sure of your last menstrual cycle we will have to do an ultrasound to find out how far along you are." Rachel just nodded and got on the table. Once on the table Rachel laid back and lifted the bottom of her shirt to reveal the start of her baby bump. After putting the blue gel on her stomach Dr. Wu started moving the wand around to find the baby. "So here it is." He pointed to the screen where the little baby could be seen.

"Wow." Seeing the little person inside her made it so much more real to Rachel.

"The baby has a good strong heart beat and you look to be about 20 weeks along." The doctor made some notes before speaking again. "So this whole time you've had no symptoms?"

"I've been really tired and some weight gain but that's it." Rachel answered him while looking at the frozen image of her child on the tiny screen.

"You are very lucky." Dr. Wu told her as he hand her paper towels and some pictures he just printed off. Rachel finished up the appointment in a daze dying to go tell Noah. Leaving the office she made her next appointment and left with a smile spread across her face. The whole drive to Sheets N' Things Rachel's hand rested on her belly and the smile never leaving her face. Parking in the spot closest to the door Rachel gathers up the goodies she made for Noah and made her way into the store. Once inside Rachel looked around the store and found it empty. The only person that was there was the new kid that was just hired.

"Hello could you please tell me where Noah is?"

"In the back." He told Rachel not looking up from his PSP. Rachel just rolled her eyes and went back to find Noah. What she found sucked the air out of her lungs and broke her heart. Her boyfriend, the father of her unborn child was currently cheating on her with his first baby mama. Quinn had her legs wrapped around Noah's hips and his pants were down mid-thigh with his shirt covering his behind. Quinn had her hands tangled in Noah's Mohawk and her face buried in his neck. Not being able to take any more Rachel turned on her heels and started to run. Everything that she had in her hands dropped to the floor as she gained speed. By the time she made it to her car she was out of breath and on the verge of tears. Once safely inside her car the damn broke.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Noah's POV**_

Noah woke up with a horrible pain in his chest. Today was his daughter's birthday and he knew he wasn't even going to see her. Noah thought for sure now that Shelby was back with Beth and had been spending time with her that he would get to see Beth on her birthday. That dream was quickly destroyed when he asked Shelby.

_Noah knocked on Shelby's office door waiting for her to answer. Noah had been trying hard to prove to Shelby that he was good enough to be in his baby's life._

"_Come in." Shelby put the papers she was working on away. Noah walked into the office and sat down across from her. "What can I do for you Noah?"_

"_So Beth's birthday is coming up." Noah told her like she didn't already know. "I was wondering if I can see her for her birthday." Noah asked so hopeful. Shelby knew this was coming and wasn't looking forward to turning Noah down. _

"_I'm sorry Noah but you can't. For her birthday we celebrate with just the two of us. I truly am sorry but maybe you can come over the day after." Shelby was waiting for him to start yelling and loose his cool but it didn't happen. He just got up and slammed the door behind him._

Noah couldn't believe what a bitch Shelby was being. All he wanted to do was be with his daughter on her birthday the anger was quickly talking over the more he thought about it. So instead he pushed all the thoughts out of his head and got ready for work. It wasn't the best job but it was a job. Getting to the store Noah decided to put the new kid in the front and him in the back. He didn't trust himself to be around people today. Four hours into his shift Quinn showed up to the store.

"Hey, you hiding out?" She asked when she found him in the back. Noah gave her a half assed smile.

"Yeah just don't feel like being around people today." Quinn pulled up a stool nodding her head in understanding. "What's in the bag?" Noah just noticed that Quinn was holding a bag on her lap.

"It's her cake." Quinn told him with a sad smile. When Beth was born the two made a deal that very year on her birthday they would have their own cake. Noah cleared a spot on the desk for Quinn to put the cake down. "I thought for sure we would be having it with her this year." Quinn couldn't help the tears that started pouring down her face. Noah pulled her into a tight hug.

"I know Q me too." Noah could feel Quinn bunching his shirt in her tiny hands.

"Why does she have to be so mean?" Quinn asked as she let out a sob. Noah just held her closer and kissed the top of her head.

"Shh it's ok maybe next year." Noah pulled back so he could wipe away the falling tears from Quinn's cheeks. Noah cupped her face while wiping them away with his thumbs. Quinn brought her hands up to cover his and hold them tight. The two just sat there staring in each other's eye when Noah started to move closer.

"Noah what are you doing?" Quinn whispered as the two were getting closer.

"I have no fucking clue." Quinn closed the gap and sealed their lips together. Noah took his hands from her face and threads them through her hair. Quinn stood up from the stool she was sitting on and pressed herself closer to Pucks body. Noah picked her up and sat her on the desk before sliding his hands up her legs pulling her panties down in one sweep. The two locked their lips back together grasping to each other.

"Are you sure?" Quinn asked and Noah's only answer was closing his lips back over hers. Quinn made quick work of Pucks jeans while he lifted her dress up. Once all their clothes were out of the way Puck plunged himself into a waiting Quinn while letting out a moan.

"God Noah that feels amazing." Puck didn't say anything just grunted into her hair. It didn't take long before Puck was losing control and let go. Once the two were dress and right again Puck finally spoke.

"Rachel can never know about this."


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Wow! I am blown away by all of you reviews. I am so glad you guys are liking the story. Sorry it some times takes a while to update. I have been super busy with my daughter and planning my wedding I write when I can. So this is where the story started. The first half is the first chapter and the second half is new. Once again thank you for all the love it means the world to me :)**_

Rachel tore out of the parking lot tears running down her face and shaking. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. The man she loved with all her heart had other women's legs wrapped around his hips. Rachel had decided to surprise her boyfriend at work with a hot lunch and cookies she'd made. That soon proved to be the worst decision she had ever made in her life. Well second if you now count the tattoo that she now sported on her ring finger of the man's initials. Rachel took a shaking hand off the wheel and swiped at her cheeks trying to bat away the rapidly falling tears. She didn't know when it started but it was now pouring rain and the streets were soaked. She felt around the passenger seat trying to find the phone without taking her eyes off the road. Once it was located she hit the side button for voice command.

"Call Satan." Rachel spoke out loud. She had hated that name but that was what Santana changed it to.

"Sup Jew Jew B," Santana snickered at her own cleverness.

"San." Rachel chocked out.

"Hey, what's the matter B?" Santana's tone quickly changed.

"He, he, oh god, San." Rachel started to sob again unable to speak. She had been so consumed by the pain in her chest she didn't see it until it was too late. She was already halfway in the intersection when the headlights of the truck shone through her window. The truck was trying to break but just kept skidding because of the wet roads. The impact threw the car into a tailspin only coming to a stop when it hit a pole. Santana heard the crash and glass shuddering.

"Rachel!" Santana yelled into the phone hoping for an answer. "Come on babe talk to me." The phone went dead and Santana's heart sank. Rachel was soon overcome with blackness that was sucking her deeper in. Rachel could feel her body slowly shutting down and the ache in her chest started to fade. Everything and everyone she loved started to flash before her eyes in a slideshow of this is your life. Every moment that had ever been important to her was playing in her head. From her first solo to her first kiss and her first time. The last image was the one she had just ran form. Rachel couldn't help but think that she couldn't die there was still so much left for her to do, so much left to say. But soon the blackness had fully taken over her tiny body causing her to feel a sense of peace. The very last thought on her mind was of the man she loved. It was of Noah.

Santana was pacing up and down the floor in Rachel's room. She spent more time in there than she did her own room so it was their room. Santana grabbed another handful of hair as she dialled Rachel's cell again.

"Hello you have reached..." Santana growled and pressed the end button before dialling again. Tears were starting to fill the pacing girl's eyes the longer the phone went unanswered. The pacing stopped when there was finally an answer.

"Holy fuck Rachel." Santana was cut off by a man's voice.

"Who am I speaking too?" The man asked

"Santana why the fuck are you answering my sisters phone." It wasn't a full out lie they were as close as sister minus the whole blood thing. Not only that she knew they only way she would get answers was to lie.

"Hi Santana I'm Officer Davis. I was called to the scene of your sister accident." Santana could hear him still talking but the words didn't register in her brain. Santana dropped to the bed a million things running through her mind.

"She's pregnant." Santana heard herself say but her voice sounded so foreign to her.

"How far along is she?" She could hear the sound of crunching glass in the background. She was sure that sound would be embedded in her brain for the rest of her life.

"I'm not sure she was finding out today." Then it hit her. "Is she ok?" Santana couldn't believe she didn't ask before. Her voice cracked at the thought of losing her best friend.

"We are taking her to Lima General Hospital you can meet us there." Santana didn't wait any longer she hung up the phone and was out the door. On her way to her car she hit 3 on her speed dial.

"Noah there's been an accident."


	9. Chapter 9

Santana rushed through the doors to Lima General Hospital like a bat out of hell. Somewhere in the hospital was the closest thing she had to family and she needed to find her.

"Hi I'm looking of Rachel Berry." Santana told the snotty looking nurse sitting behind the main desk.

"And you are?" She asked looking up from her magazine.

"Her fucking sister you dumb bitch. Now how about you tell me where the fuck she is." Santana yelled all of her worry coming out in anger.

"Emergency room 16." Santana just gave the nurse a dirty look before leaving to find Rachel. Once she found the ER Santana found a much more helpful nurse who told her where to wait while she found Rachel's doctor. Santana gave her a grateful smile as she took a seat in the hard plastic chairs. She was ringing her hands together when a doctor appeared.

"Hello I'm Doctor Montgomery." The beautiful doctor had her hand extended to Santana before she took a seat.

"How is she?" Santana was picking at her nails and nervous habit she had since childhood

"When she was found she was unconscious but is awake now. She was wearing her seat belt, that's what saved her life. She has a broken arm and some major cuts but for the most part she is ok. It is truly amazing that she isn't worse off." Dr. Montgomery tried giving Santana a reassuring smile.

"And the baby?" Santana asked quietly praying for the best.

"The accident caused some stress and premature labour. We managed to stop the labour and now we are watching very closely. I am hopeful." Santana nodded her head tears in her eyes. "We are almost finished up in there and then you can come visit her." The doctor gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder.

"Thank you." The Latina watched as the doctor went back into the room that held her best friend. 10 minutes after the doctor had gone Noah came running through the doors Quinn hot on his heels.

"Where is she?" He skidded to a stop in front of Santana.

"She's in the room they are still working on her."

"What happened?" Noah's voice went an octave higher in distress.

"I don't know." Santana had finally saw Quinn standing there. "What are you doing here?" Santana looked between the two with a questioning eye.

"Brittney texted me telling me what happened so I rushed over here." Quinn wasn't fully lying Britney did text her. That seem to satisfy Santana and she took her seat once again. Soon all the chairs were filled with the people who had become this weird type of family. Santana dropped her head to her hands and prayed for the first time in a long time. She prayed for her best friend and her unborn baby that could so easily lose its life before it even started. Everyone sat in silence waiting for some type of news. Every now and then Santana would look at Puck to see how he was holding up to see a look of guilt and worry all over his face. Santana was brought out of her staring by the sound of heels coming towards them.

"Santana." Dr. Montgomery called from her place in the doorway. Everyone's head turned towards the voice as Santana jumped to her feet. Before Santana could say anything Noah rushed towards them.

"How is she?" Noah asked shaking slightly.

"I'm sorry who are you?" The tall doctor was trying not to sound rude.

"I'm her boyfriend now how is she?" Noah was getting mad that no one would answer him.

"She's doing fine for now." The doctor kept her answer short and turned towards Santana." She's asking for you." The doctor extended her arm towards the teenaged girl to guide her away.

"Can I see her?" Noah asked before Santana had the chance to move.

"I will ask her but right now she has asked for Santana." The kid was rubbing her the wrong way. The two left the group alone and walked down the hall to Rachel's room.

"Thanks for not saying anything about the baby, Noah doesn't know yet." They were now stopped in front the Rachel's room.

"No problem I shouldn't have even told him she was ok. The only reason I spoke to you was because Rachel said it was ok." The doctor smiled then opened the door. The moment she enter the room tears pricked Santana's eyes. Her tiny best friend was lying in and entirely too large hospital bed looking at the ceiling tile. There was a case sitting on her left arm and cuts all over her beautiful face. When Rachel heard the door open she took her eyes off the spots in the tile and looked at who had just walked in. As soon as she seen Santana, Rachel broke down into sobs.

"Oh god Santana." Rachel little body was shaking as Santana rushed to her side.

"Shhh its ok sweetie I'm here. Everything is ok." Santana held Rachel in her arms and smoothed her hair out.

"He cheated on me San oh god he cheated." Rachel sobbed out as she held tight to the arm wrapped around her.

"What Rachel? What are you saying?" Santana was shocked and confused.

"He was fucking Quinn in the back room." Rachel sobbed out then screamed in pain.

"Rachel I need you to calm down. The baby is in distress." Dr. Montgomery was on Rachel's other side rubbing her arm. No matter how hard she tried Rachel just couldn't calm down. "Please Rachel I need you to calm down. The baby is under a lot of stress right now." As if to prove her point the baby's heart monitor started going off. The doctor quickly left Rachel's side pressing button and watching the monitor closely. Everything and everyone went silent waiting for something anything. Dr. Montgomery started moving the censors around Rachel's stomach trying to find a heartbeat. Not finding what she was looking for the doctor pulled an ultrasound machine beside the bed. Once again everyone was holding their breath waiting. A whooshing sound filled the room now all that was left was to find the thumping, Rachel and Santana were staring at the screen waiting and praying for it to be found. Soon the image of a baby was on the screen and Santana was smiling. The smile quickly went away when the tiny baby she was looking at wasn't moving. Santana started watching the doctor's face looking for any sign of hope. After a few minutes Santana tightened the hold she hand on Rachel's tiny shaking body. Dr. Montgomery out the machine back before she turned towards the bed.

"How is my baby?" Rachel asked hoping for the best.

"I am so sorry Rachel." Dr. Montgomery was standing but Rachel's bed.

"My baby's dead?" Rachel asked fear and tears clouding her voice and taking over her mind.

"With the accident and all of the stress." The doctor didn't have a chance to finishing explaining why when Rachel broke down.

"My baby's dead?" Rachel started clutching to Santana again. While the two cried in each other's arms Dr. Montgomery waited a few minutes before she gave Rachel what she thought was the worse news. Pulling a chair up she sat down and took Rachel's hand.

"Rachel" She waited a minute before the young heartbroken girl looked at her. "Because of how face along you is we are going to have to deliver the baby." Santana just looked at her

"Isn't there another way? "Santana asked wanting to save her friend that pain.

"I'm sorry there isn't. Because labour had already started we will give you some medication to jump start it oks?" Rachel just nodded her head silently as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Shhh baby girl it will be ok." Santana kissed the top of Rachel's head as she held the sobbing girl in her tanned arms.

"Why me?" Rachel barely whispered

"I don't know sweetie I don't know." Santana couldn't believe everything that had happened. Just 6 hours ago she was watching her pregnant best friend bake cookies for her boyfriend with a smile on her face. Now she as laying in a hospital bed her boyfriend cheated on her and her baby dead. The two girls sat in silence and cried. What seemed like a lifetime later Dr. Montgomery spoke?

"Ok Sweetie its time I need you to push." Rachel just nodded her head as Santana helped her get into position. "When you ready." Rachel took a deep breath and pushed. 20 minutes later Rachel could feel all of the pressure leave her body. "Do you want to hold her?" Dr. Montgomery asked as she cut the cord.

"A girl?" Rachel asked as she held out her arms. Once the baby was placed in her arms Rachel broke down again. "She's so beautiful." Rachel sobbed out to an equally distraught Santana.

"Yeah sweetie she is." Santana held Rachel close to her chest as the both looked down at the poor little girl who didn't have a chance.

"Do you want to hold her?" Rachel held the entirely too small girl out to Santana. Santana took he baby and held it close.

"I am so sorry beautiful girl. I should have gone to the doctors with your mommy and everything would still be ok." Santana's body was wracked with sobs. Dr. Montgomery took the baby from Santana's arms.

"I'm going to take her out of the room and then we will go over what happens next."

"Let me see her one more time." The doctor put the tiny bundle back in her mother's arms. While she was staring down the doctor spoke again.

"Before we take her you need to give her a name." Rachel looked up at the doctors and down at the baby again. After looking at the beautiful girls face Rachel decided.

"Amalee Berry." Santana gave her a nod of approval. "I love you so much my baby girl. I will never go a day without thinking of you." Rachel told the little girl before the doctor took her out of her arms and out of the room. Once everyone cleared out of the room Rachel moved over so Santana could get into bed with her and cry. When Rachel started to calm down Santana broke the silence.

"Everyone's here, they want to see you." Santana felt Rachel stiffen in her arms.

"Tell them all to leave I don't want to see any one especially _them_." The word them never sounded so angry and hateful then when it came out of Rachel's mouth. "Please Santana just make everyone go away." Santana got off the bed and dried off her face.

"Of course babe anything for you." Santana left the room stopping outside the room to take a deep breath. She was trying hard to keep her fiery temper in check. As she walked to the waiting room all control she had was lost when she seen Quinn with her arms around Noah. Speed walking the rest of the way with each step her anger growing. Noah heard footsteps coming close; once he saw it was Santana he jumped to his feet.

"How is she?" Before anyone knew what was happening Santana had backhanded Noah across the face. Quinn quickly stood up and got in between the two.

"What the hell Santana?" She yelled grabbing onto the taller girls arm. Santana pulled her arm away and punch Quinn in the nose.

"You son of a bitch." She growled at him then turned back to Quinn. "You stupid fucking whore. This is all your fault. The both of you." Both stood there with shocked expressions on their faces. "She got in the accident trying to get away from you. I had to just watch my friend give birth to a four month early baby because of you. I just held my dead niece in my arms because of you." Santana was getting louder with each point she made.

"She was pregnant?" Noah asked in a daze as if his mind stopped working after labour

"Yeah she was. She went to the doctors this morning and then was going to bring you lunch as a surprise. Imagine her surprise when she gets to Sheets N' Things only to find you with Quinn's legs wrapped around you. That's why she was in the accident. She was so upset that she just had to leave. Santana look around seeing a lot of shocked faces and two sets of very guilty eyes.

"Can I see her I need to explain?" He begged tears clouding his vision.

"Are you kidding me? She doesn't want to see you. She sent me out here to tell everyone to go home." Santana just kept eye contact with Puck. "You fucked up Puck." Santana stated walking back to Rachel's room when his voice stopped her.

"Can I see my baby?' He asked with a hopeful smile.

"No you can't Puck she's dead." Santana just left him standing there letting it all sink in. Once she was back to the room she seen Rachel had left her side open for her.

"Are they gone?" Rachel asked not taking her eyes off the wall.

"Yeah babe they are gone. Santana crawled into the bed behind Rachel. The two girls stayed silent and just cried.


	10. Chapter 10

Four days later Rachel was release from the hospital and began the heartbreaking task of planning her daughter's funeral. It was more like Santana and Rachel's fathers doing the planning because Rachel was in a catatonic state. Rachel lied in bed most of the time just staring off into space. No matter what was tried nothing could bring Rachel out of it. Santana was going over some last minute things when her phone rang, she didn't even need to look at it to know who it was.

"Hi Puck." He had called Santana 3 to 4 times a day since Rachel had been in the accident.

"How is she doing?" Santana could hear how tired he was. Everything was weighing on him and Santana felt bad for him. He lost his girlfriend, daughter and most of his friends all in a six-hour time span. Even though it was all his fault Santana felt for him.

"The same she was when you called this morning." Every time he called it was the same two questions over and over. "And no there is nothing you can do." Santana heard him sigh on the other end.

"Did she get the flowers I sent?"

"Yes Puck we have gotten all 6 arrangements. They are beautiful but please stop sending them." Santana was rubbing her temples all this stress was getting to her. "Listen Puck I have lots to do I need to go."

"San can I come please?" Puck had been begging Santana to let him go to the funeral. If it were up to Santana she would let him be there. He dissevered to be there but Rachel didn't want him there.

"Puck she is not going to change her mind. I know you want to be there and I think you should but it would be more harm than good." Santana swore she could hear his defeat through the phone.

"If I send flowers can you please make sure they get put on her grave. She was my daughter too." Santana could hear the tears clouding Noah's voice. No matter how mad she was at the boy who broke her best friend she had to feel a little for him.

"You get them to me and I'll make sure they get there. Bye Puck." Santana hung up the phone putting it down on the counter. The tanned girl got up from her spot and walked to the fridge grabbing a bottle of water. Walking up the stairs Santana couldn't believe how quite the house was. As long as she had been living there it was never silent. There was always something going on whether it was Rachel singing or her dads watching TV it was always something. Going into Rachel's room Santana was shocked to see Rachel sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Hey beautiful are you hungry?' Santana asked as she sat down beside Rachel holding the water out to her.

"No I'm fine." Rachel just kept looking down at her lap. Santana moved closer to see what she was looking at.

"This was Mia's first picture." The tiny brunette ran her fingers over the ultrasound image that sat on her lap. Even though the baby was no longer there they have already taken to calling her Mia for short. "Just a few hours after this she was gone." Rachel's face stayed emotionless as she spoke. Rachel hadn't cried since the night in the hospital.

"Have you slept at all?" Santana pulled Rachel so her head was resting in her lap and started playing with Rachel's hair.

"A little." Santana nodded and kept playing with Rachel's hair. As she ran her fingers through it she couldn't help but think that it wasn't as soft was it used to be and not as shinny either. After a little while she lifted Rachel head and slid a pillow under it.

"I have some stuff to do I'll be down stairs if you need me." Rachel nodded her head as Santana left the room. Once she was alone again Rachel ran her fingers over the picture again and placed a soft kiss on the tiny black and white image before sliding it under her pillow. Lying back down Rachel decided to try and get some sleep. Breathing deeply in and out Rachel could feel her tiny body start to relax. Drifting further into sleep Rachel's mind started to wonder.

_**Rachel was laying in her hospital bed her beautiful baby girl lying on her breast. The little girl started to squirm and fuss.**_

"_**Looks like someone's hungry." Noah was smiling at the two people he loved the most. **_

"_**I bet she is.'" Rachel was about to pick up a bottle when Shelby and Quinn walked into the room.**_

"_**What are you two doing here?" Rachel asked confused by the sudden appearance of the two women.**_

"_**I've come to get what's mine." Quinn told her while holding her hand out to Puck. "Come on Noah Beth is waiting for her daddy." Puck smiled at the blonde and took her hand. Leaving the chair Puck looked over his shoulder.**_

"_**Bye man hands." The two left the room hand in hand and smiling at each other. Shelby came closer to the bed and took the baby out of the stunned Rachel's arms.**_

"_**You don't deserve to have anyone to love." Shelby held the baby close to her chest and left the room.**_

"_**Give me my baby." Rachel yelled to the retreating form. "Give me my baby back."**_

Rachel woke with a start her heart pounding in her chest and having hard time breathing. Looking around Rachel saw she was in her room and her breath was coming a little easier. Lying back down Rachel took a few deep breaths trying to slow her heart rate. Looking at her ceiling tears started to fill her eyes but she refused to let them fall.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Wow I am blown away by all the reviews. for some reason i cant respond to reviews :( You guys are amazing and make me want to write more. Im sorry if it takes a while some times for the chapters but im getting married in 4 months and there is still alot left to do. I am so glad you guys are liking the story so far. Just to put everyones mind at ease Quinn will not be getting pregnant lol. I didnt even think of that. Hope you like the new chapter and as always i love hearing what you think.**

The day everyone had been dreading had finally arrived. Santana got herself ready and then went to get Rachel up. Stopping outside the door that was blocking her best friend from the outside world she took a deep breath. Since everything that had happened Santana became the responsible one in their relationship, she as more like Rachel's mother than her friend. Going into the room she was surprised to find Rachel up and dressed. Hearing the door open Rachel turned to see who had entered her little bubble she so desperately didn't want to leave.

"You ready sweetie?" Santana asked watching Rachel struggle to pull her hair back into a ponytail. Rachel had on a simple black dress and black stockings.

"Yes I am ready." Rachel put her brush down and grabbed her black cardigan slipping it over her tiny shoulder. It had been only a week and a bit but Rachel had already dropped at least 10 pounds. Her tiny body looked even smaller like she could be broken in half. Santana wrapped her arm around Rachel and tucked her close to her body as the two walked down the stairs to the foyer where Rachel's dads were waiting.

"It's time to go baby girl." The shorter of her dads told her as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. The taller of the two wrapped his arm around Santana trying to give her some comfort. With a dad on each side of the girls, the four walked out to the waiting car. Once the four had taken their place in the back of the black limo Rachel broke the silence.

"Who's going to be there?" Rachel had wanted just the four of them but Santana finally convinced her to allow their friends to be there for her. Rachel had shut everyone out of her life and Santana wanted to fix that.

"Just the people I told you about before. Britt, Tina, Mike, Arite, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn and Mr. Schue. They just want to be there for you." Santana wrapped Rachel in a tight hug once again.

"He won't be there will he?" Santana tried so hard to get Rachel to let him go but she didn't want to hear it. He was the reason she was having to do this. In Rachel's eyes he had no right to have anything to do with her little girl.

_Santana had just finished making Rachel's lunch and bringing it to her when she brought it up again._

"_Rach have you changed your mind about Puck being there?" Rachel just stared at the food._

"_No I haven't I don't want him there." Rachel was getting so tired of the person who claimed to be her best friend trying to convince her to let that person be at her daughter's funeral._

"_Come on Rach she was his daughter too. He has a right to be there." Santana's tone was quickly becoming harsh._

"_No he doesn't have a right. This is all his fault. My daughter is dead because of him." Rachel pushed her food aside no wanting to eat._

"_One day Rachel you will regret this." Santana was about to leave when Rachel spoke._

"_You know what I will forever regret? Falling in love with a cheating Lima loser who is nothing but a piece of trash." Rachel got off her bed and went into her bathroom ending any more conversation._

"No sweetie he won't be there." Santana held Rachel's hand the rest of the way to the cemetery. Stopped just inside the gates the found members of the Berry family got out of the car and walked to the place where the youngest Berry would be laid to rest. Rachel could already see her group of friends standing there waiting for them to arrive. Once she was at the site Rachel was pulled into gentle hugs from everyone who was waiting, all offering their deepest sympathies.

"It's time." The tallest of the daddies whispered in her ears and lead her to the waiting chair Rachel just stared ahead at the white box that held her child, tuning out everything around her. The whole time Rachel couldn't take her eyes away thinking of the life her daughter would never get to live and the things she would never get to do with the little girl. If Rachel thought hard she could see a mini version of herself but with hazel eyes running around in a tutu trying to go ballet. Stopping her train of thought knowing it was too hard Rachel tried her best to listen to the Rabbi speaking. Once the Rabbi finished the service everyone place a pink rose of the grave saying a silent prayer as they passed by. When it was Santana's turn to pay her respects she rose from her seat and placed the flowers she had bought beside the roses. Picking up one of the arrangements that was already there she placed it beside her own.

"That's form you daddy." Santana whispered so no one could hear her. Taking her seat again Rachel got up repeating the same action everyone else had. Rachel bent down in front of the polished stone kissed her fingers and placed them over her daughter's name. Getting up off her knees Rachel gave one last look over her should before going to the car.

"Is she ok?" Brittany asked as she pulled Santana into a comforting hug.

"Yes B she is ok." How could she tell sweet and innocent Brittany that Rachel was far from ok?

"She wasn't even crying." Kurt pointed out to the group who was standing around looking towards the car. It was a shock to see Rachel's eyes were dry the whole time even when she said goodbye.

"She hasn't cried since the night it happened." Santana took a deep breath trying to keep her own tears at bay. "I'm really worried about her." Santana gave everyone one last hug and said goodbye. Bending down at the grave Santana put her hand on the head stone.

"Don't worry Mia I'll make sure mommies ok." Santana kissed the top of the stone stood up and dusted some dirt off her knees. With one last look she made the walk back to the car where her family was waiting.


	12. Chapter 12

Two days after the funeral life returned to normal for everyone except for Rachel. While everyone went back to school or world Rachel was at home with her thoughts. The longer she was alone the number she became. Rachel looked at her cell phone that he been returned to her by the very handsome officer Davis. It survived the crash with no more than a scratch on the side. It had been turned off since its return so Rachel decided it was time to turn it back on. The moment it was done loading the phone went crazy. Her voicemail was full and 75 text messages. Rachel deleted all the text messages without even opening them. Dialling her voicemail she held her phone to her ear waiting for the prompt to enter her password. Once the password had been entered Rachel intended to delete the voicemails the same as the text messages but his voice stopped her in her tracks.

"_Hey babe I just got a call from San are you ok?"_ she could hear the panic in his voice. _" Of course you're not but I'm on my way babe. I love you so much." _ Rolling her eyes at her phone Rachel deleted the message and started listening to the next one.

"_Rach baby I need to talk to you. I am so sorry for everything. Please just please I need you."_ Listening closely Rachel could hear tears and pain clouding his voice. Rachel quickly deleted the rest of the messages not wanting to hear his pleas or sad stores. Once the phone had been clear she turned it back off and put it in its original place. She knew if she kept it off it would be filled again in a few days but she didn't want to be bothered. Rachel lay down on her bed and just stared at her yellow walls. Rachel can't remember the last time her TV had been on or she used her computer. Rachel had been living in a bubble she created for herself only eating and leaving the room when forced too. She had refused to leave the safety of her room. The longer she was in her room the more she noticed things about it she hated. Staring at the four walls surrounding her she started to develop a hatred for the colour Noah had loved so much. Rachel decided she was sick of the colour and it was time for a change. Getting out of bed she put close on the best she could with a cast of her arm. Once she was dressed Rachel grabbed the keys to her dad BMW and took off for the store. Her car had been totalled and they haven't had time to go buy her a new one. So now Rachel was stuck driving her ads car whenever she needed it. Not that she ever used it. Parking in the first space she could find of the hardware store parking lot, Rachel rushed into the store on a mission. Once everything had been bought and loaded into her car she made her way back home. Parking back in the garage Rachel started to unload everything she needed to change her room. Placing the cans outside of the room the small girl with only one good arm started to prepare her room. Once the room was ready Rachel changed her clothes and brought the cans into her room she started to paint. With each stroke of the roller Rachel could feel her old life fade away. The room had so many memories that were haunting her. Everywhere she looked there was something to remind her of the life she had just a little while ago. Two and a half hours later Rachel's walls were now a deep purple all brightness left behind. The exhaustion finally took over Rachel and she collapsed on her bed. Crawling up the bed she buried her head in the fluffy pillows. As her eyes began to close Rachel prayed for a dreamless sleep. Unfortunately for Rachel that wouldn't be happening.

_**A very pregnant Rachel stood in the spare bedroom of her house looking around. She was trying to get ideas for her daughter's room.**_

"_**Any ideas yet babe?" Noah asked as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around Rachel's every growing belly.**_

"_**No nothing. How is it that two very intelligent people cannot come up with ideas for a child's room?" Rachel huffed with her hands on her hips.**_

"_**We'll think of something babe don't sweat it." Noah told her as he rubbed his hands over where their daughter had just kicked. "See babe even she's trying to tell you not to worry." Rachel smiled as Noah pressed his lips to the back of her neck.**_

Rachel's eyes shot open and for the first time since the night her daughter died Rachel let tears fill her eyes. She missed Noah more than she would ever admit and it was killing her. No matter how much she missed him there was no way Rachel could forgive him. Before Rachel had a chance to get out of bed she head the front door opening. Soon she could hear the footsteps of her best friend coming to make sure she was still alive. Walking into the room Santana let out a gasp.

"What happened here?" Santana asked as she looked around the freshly painted walls.

"Needed a change." Rachel just stayed where she was looking at the ceiling not meeting her friends eyes.

"How did you do this with a cast on?" Santana's eyes grew wide. "Did you cut your cast off?" Rachel held up her paint covered cast. The Latina blew out a breath of relief before taking a seat on Rachel's bed. "I brought your school work." Santana pointed to her bag as if to prove a point. Rachel just nodded her head. "There is some other stuff too. Cards from everyone in glee."

"Tell them thanks." Rachel rolled on her side hoping Santana would get the point which of course she didn't.

"He's a mess babe. He just wants to talk to you." At first Santana had been beyond pissed at Noah but then she had talked to him and the anger turned to pity.

_Santana was standing at her locker when a dark shadow appeared. _

"_How is she?" Noah sounded like he hadn't slept in days._

"_How do you think she is Puckerman." Santana was in no mood to deal with him. All she wanted to do was get her stuff and get back to the hospital._

"_San can I please just talk to you?" She had never heard him sounding so helpless and small._

"_You have as long as it takes me to walk to my car and I walk fast." Noah quickly fell into step beside Santana._

"_I fucked up San." Santana snorted at the statement. "Q showed up there and we were talking about Beth's birthday." Noah took a deep breath. : I know it's no excuse but I was feeling like shit and you know how I get when I'm like that. She you know I would never hurt Rachel on purpose. I didn't even know about the baby." Noah's eyes were starting to fill with tears. "I am so sorry." The tears turned into sobs and his rambling stopped. "I am so sorry." Santana stopped walking and turned to look at the once strong self-proclaimed badass. "God San I am so sorry. I just need her to know I'm sorry." Noah wrapped his arms around Santana and sobbed into her shoulder. The anger she had felt was starting to slip away. All she felt was pity for the broken boy standing in front of her. _

Rachel rolled her eyes not wanting to hear anything about the boy who broke her. Santana continued to tell Rachel about her school day.

"Did you sleep at all?" everyone was concerned with the lack of sleep and eating Rachel was doing.

"Yes Santana I slept." Rachel rolled over facing the other way putting an end to the conversation. Santana just stared at her back for a little before going to her own room leaving Rachel in silence.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: When I wrote this chapter I didnt know that I already had the one before done. So at the bottom explains why I wasnt able to update for a while.

Rachel sat awake staring at her iPod clock. 12:30 am flashed brightly back at her. Picking up her blackberry Rachel started to scroll through facebook .It had been a while since Rachel had any contact with the outside world. Looking through the news feed she found much the same as always. Checked messages she found ones from all her friends checking in and wanting to know when she was coming back. Deciding to leave the messages unanswered she clicked home bringing her back to the main page. What Rachel put a hole in her chest and took her breath away. Quinn had uploaded pictures of Noah and Beth. There were quite a few each one ripping the hole a little bigger. Some were posed and some were candid but the one that hurt the most was a picture of Noah looking at Beth with so much love in his eyes. Rachel couldn't help but let her mind wonder and the image of her own little girl that she held for a short time. The thoughts of her own child and seeing Noah with his caused an unbearable pain in Rachel's chest. Throwing her phone down the tiny girl got out of bed and quickly dressed. Any hope she had of sleeping was lost and all the broken girl needed was to be outside the walls surrounding her. After she was fully dressed she snuck down the stairs and out the front door. Once she had pulled away from the house Rachel let out a huge sigh of relief. For the first time since she saw the boy she loved screwing the mother of his child, Rachel had felt the tiniest bit of relief from the pain that permanently resided in her chest. Looking at the clock that now read 1:15 Rachel checked her mirrors trying to think where to go. Winding the windows down and turning the radio up Rachel slammed her foot on the accelerator speed through the streets of Lima. Rachel felt like everything was lifting off her shoulder. Soon the tiny girl was passing a sign telling her she was no longer in Lima Ohio. Rachel had never been outside of Lima alone but she didn't care. Soon she saw a sign saying Toledo OH 79 miles away. Doing the math in her head Rachel figured out she would be there by 2:30. what she would do when she got there hadn't even entered her mind. The longer she drove the clearer her mind became till the point where it was completely blank. Before Rachel knew it she was driving into a town that held nothing but the unknown. Driving through the streets Rachel looked around the strange place. Spotting a 7 11 Rachel quickly pulled into the parking lot. The need to go to the bathroom was quickly overwhelming Rachel's body. Walking out of the bathroom Rachel looked through the store for something to buy. Standing in front of the slushie machine a pain quickly started to fill her chest and all the thoughts she had been trying to block out started to come back. Taking a deep breath Rachel walked over to a cooler grabbing a bottle of water and stood in line to pay. While waiting Rachel could feel a pair of eyes burning into her back. Looking over her shoulder Rachel's dull brown eyes were soon met with a bright blue set. When their eyes met the boy gave her a wide smile. Rachel broke the gaze and turned back to the front. Handing over her money Rachel gave the man a small thank you before leaving the store. Before she could get back into her car Rachel heard someone yelling out.

"Hey wait up." Turning around Rachel came face to face with the boy from the store. "I'm Slone." Rachel looked down at his out reached hand.

"Rachel." She answered back taking the hand that had been offered. Slone gave Rachel a heart stopping smile. Looking down he noticed the cast on Rachel's arm.

"What happened?" He asked pointing to the object in question. Rachel lifted her arm as if it could answer for her. At first Rachel was going to make up some bullshit story but decided there as no point.

"I got into a car accident after catching my boyfriend screwing his baby mama." Rachel told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Slone just stared at her wide eyes unsure of what to say.

"Shitty." He finally spoke at his eyes followed Rachel's arm back to her side.

"Yup." Rachel popped her P and turned to get in to her car.

"You busy?" The voice stopped her again. Rachel knew she should keep walking and get into her car but she didn't.

"Nope." Rachel couldn't help but think she had nothing to loose than a little voice reminded her she did have something left. She did have her life. Ignoring the little voice screaming at her to get in her car Rachel smiled at the boy making his way closer to her. "Lead the way." Rachel quickly got behind the wheel of her car and followed the boy where ever he was leading her. The voice in her head got louder tell her that she was being lead to her death. Suddenly that thought wasn't the worst in the world. The two pulled up to a house that was about the same size as hers. Putting her car in park she got out when Slone appeared at her door.

"My parents are out of town." He told her as the two walked up the brick path to his house with his hand on the small of her back. Standing in the entrance way Rachel looked around the beautiful house. She knows that its very superficial of her but the beautiful house was putting her worries at ease.

"Come in." Slone extended his hand to her leading her further into the large house. As the two enter the kitchen Rachel felt a sharp pain shoot through her arm.

"Can I get a glass of water please?" Rachel asked polite as ever. Slone let go of Rachel hand that he was hold to get her a bottle of water. "Thank you." Rachel set the bottle down and dug through her pocket for her pill bottle. Locating the bottle at the bottom Rachel pulled it out dropping two pills into her hand before returning the bottle to its previous place. Rachel popped the pills in her mouth before taking a huge drink of water.

"What you taking?" Slone asked very interested.

"Oxycontin." Rachel replaced the cap to her water bottle and looked at Slone.

"They gave you the good shit." Rachel just stared at Slone with a blank expression on her beautiful face. "Your telling me you got one of the best drugs in your pocket and you haven't taken just a little extra.?" Rachel shook her head no.

" I didn't know you could." Once the words left her mouth Rachel realized how naive and childish she truly sounded. Slone just smiled at her trying not to make her feel worse than she already was feeling.

"Oh your that kind of girl? The good girl with the good friends who would never do anything wrong." Slone smirked at her seeing his words were true.

"My boyfriend." Rachel stopped herself and took a deep breath. "My ex-boyfriend use to smoke marijuana sometimes." Rachel's cheeks flamed red. The more she spoke the more naive she realized she was Slone smiled while extending his hand to her.

"Hand me the pills." It was a more of a demand than a question. Rachel handed over her pain killers and watched as Slone took out two pills, placing them on a mirror were candles had been standing. "Do you trust me?" Slone asked Rachel.

"I don't even know you." Rachel just stared at the boy crushed up the pills in front of her.

"Well then how about we get to know each other?" Slone reached into his pocket and pulled out a dollar bill rolling it between his fingers. Rachel just sat there not knowing what to do or say. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. She may be naive but shes not stupid. She knew what Slone was about to do but she couldn't make her self get up and leave. Rachel watched in amazement as Slone brought the dollar bill up to his nose and inhaled deeply, making the while line in front of him disappear. Once he was finished Slone lifted his head rubbing his nose and smiling. He extended his arm handing Rachel the rolled up bill.

"You don't have to. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. But i promise you will never feel anything like it." Rachel kept looking from the bill to the powder deep in thought. The little voice that had been stocking her told her not to do it. _"You are Rachel Berry you would never do this."_ With one last look she knew tight to the bill doing the same thing Slone had done. Bringing her head up it was official. Rachel let go of the person she was. Rachel Barbra Berry the driven singer, perfect daughter and friend was dead.

**A/N: I am so unbelievably sorry for the lack of updates. Since the last update my grandmother developed a very rare blood disease and is in need of constant care. It has fallen onto my shoulders to be that person. On top of that I. I am not sure when the next update will be but I will try my best to make sure it isn't a long gap. This isn't my best chapter but its a chapter. I would usually have this betaed but I wanted to get it up. Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with this story you guys are the best.**


	14. Chapter 14

Rachel woke up with her head resting on something warm and hard. Keeping her eyes closed tight she was afraid what she would find when she opened them.

" You talk in your sleep." Slone said with a laugh. Rachel felt his chest vibrate with a laugh. "Yes i know you're awake your breathing change." Rachel decided it was time to open her eyes and face the music. Pulling away Rachel looked up at him and gave an uneasy smile. "Don't worry we didn't sleep together if you are wondering. Well we did sleep together just not in the biblical sense." Once again Slone couldn't help but laugh. Rachel felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Sliding off the bed she felt even more relief when all her clothes was still on. "How did you sleep?" Slone asked like it was the most normal thing for them to be waking up together.

"Better than I have in a while." Now that Rachel thought of it she slept the best she had since the night of the accident. Then she thought of something. "What did I say in my sleep?" Rachel asked a blush colouring her cheeks. Slone pushed a piece of hair out of her face.

"You kept calling out for Noah." Slone watched as Rachel's face dropped. "You were telling him you loved him." Rachel just kept quite and stared at her feet. The amount of love she had for Noah didn't just go away no matter how hard she tried. Slone stared at her and held her a little tighter. Rachel shut her eyes and relaxed into the heat of his body for a few minutes before her eyes snapped open.

"What time is it?" Rachel sat up looking around the room for a clock. Slone picked up his phone off the table.

"9:30" He told her as he show her the screen of his phone. Rachel jumped off the bed in a panic.

"I have to go. Santana is going to be freaking." Rachel headed out of the room to the front door to get her shoes.

"Who's Santana?" Slone followed closely behind.

"My sister for all intensive purposes." Rachel was pulled her shoes on a just as Slone stopped in front of her.

"Can I see you again?" The hopefulness in his eyes warmed Rachel heart. Against her better judgement she gave him a simple one word answer.

"Yes." Rachel was about to walk out the door when he stopped her.

"Your number?" He asked holding his phone out to her. Rachel grabbed the phone, quickly punched in the number and handed it back to him with a smile. Taking his phone with one hand he pulled her closer with the other. Slone brushed some hair away from her eyes before placing a kiss on her lips. When they pulled away both had smiles on their faces. "I'll call you." Rachel nodded her head before running out the door to her car. The whole drive home Rachel's head was spinning. What the hell had she done? There was so many things wrong with what she did the night before but she just couldn't bring herself to care. The drive home ended way to fast for her. Getting closer to her house she could see cars lining the street and her drive way was full. Stopping in front of the house Rachel blocked the end of the drive way with her car. She wasn't even half way up the path when the door flung open and Santana was running towards her.

"Thank god you're OK." Santana sobbed out as she pulled Rachel into her arms. Rachel hugged her friend back and patted her on the back. Rachel dislodged herself from Santana's arms so the two could go into the house that was full of waiting people. As soon as she walked through the door the house was filled with a flurry of activity. Everyone was coming towards her all talking a million miles a minute. Before she had a chance to react Noah had appeared out of nowhere and wrapped Rachel in his arms. For just a minute Rachel let him hold her before she pushed him away.

"Don't touch me." Rachel kicked her shoes off than went up to her room away from everyone and everything. Noah stood at the bottom of the stairs watching Rachel's retreating form. Santana stood beside him looking to where her friend had disappeared.

"Thanks everyone for coming over but I think everyone should go now." Santana turned to the crowd that had gather when they learned of a missing Rachel. Everyone nodded and started towards the door except Noah. "You can leave now Puck." Santana stood watching him for a few minutes before he finally moved. As Noah was walking to the door he turned back.

"Please tell her I love her." He lowered his head and left. After everyone had left it was just Santana and Rachel's dads standing in the living room.

"I'm gonna go talk to her find out where the hell was she." Santana fumed as she stormed towards Rachel's room. Stopping in front of the door Santana took a deep breath before walking in.

"So care to tell me where the hell you were all night?" Santana stood with her hands on her hips staring down at Rachel as she laid in bed.

"I was with a boy." Rachel answered without hesitation. There was no point in lying.

"What do you mean you were with a boy?" Sitting on the edge of the bed Santana turned so she was facing Rachel.

"I met him at the store and he asked if I wanted to hang out so I did. We hung out at his place and then slept." Rachel turned over so Santana was no longer staring at her back. "It was nice you know. To be around someone who doesn't know what happened. Who doesn't look at me with pity. It was nice." Santana couldn't help but soften.

"I know sweetie." Santana started running her fingers through Rachel's hair. "So what is his name?" The girls smiled softly at each other.

"Slone."

"Are you going to see him again?" As much as Santana wanted her friend to say know she would support her decisions.

"I don't know San. I really don't know"

A/N: (peeks from around corner) Hi everyone. I can never tell you all how sorry I am that it took this long to update. The past year had been one of the best and one of the worse. I got married, My family fell apart all because of a lie, Almost died, had to have emergency surgery, lost a baby and a fallopian tube all in a 2 hour span, got pregnant , dad got arrested because of said lie, had the baby who was early and sick. So a lot had been going on. I'm not sure how often I'm going to be able to update but I'm going to try my best not to have huge gaps. I wont leave the story unfinished it just might take a while to get there


	15. Chapter 15

Hey Everyone!

I wish I could say this is an update but its not. I have been trying to keep writing this story but I just cant. I dont have the time and ive lost my muse. If someone would like to take it over they are more than welcome to. But within the next week I am going to delete it. I am so sorry I never wanted to do this but it is better than waiting for more that wont be coming. Thank you to everyone who did read you are the best.


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